I arrived in Texas two days ago, and it all feels very surreal.  I'm sure I looked a bit crazy to my friends out on New Year's Eve, staring around with darting eyes at the endless procession of strange, tall, white people, and unfocusedly eavesdropping on every conversation just because I could.  Old friends asked me a variety of questions, but my answer to each one was the same: "Sorry, but I'm a bit freaked out right now," followed by more eyes darting.

Mostly I really enjoy culture shock, those first few weeks after arriving somewhere, when my powers of observation are at their keenest, and I notice things missed by routine.  It's also when I'm probably the hardest to be around for others.

These first few weeks are when I hold the most objects up, asking for or confirming their names in my native language.  I forget whether Americans have things called "pet bottles" or "live houses." It turns out we don't, and even though these are some of the few English words I ever heard in Japan, it seems they are useless for communication here. My friends are unsure of the words that are used here, for a recyclable plastic drink bottle and a small venue where one can see live music, respectively.  I know a keitai's a "cell phone" and a konbini's a "convenience store," but force of habit prevents me from using these more cumbersome words.

These first weeks are also when I bow conversationally, cut through crowds with my hands steepled, apologize compulsively, eat badly with forks, self-indicate with a point at my nose, consistently produce incorrect change, forget to hold open doors or say "bless you", make grunting sounds of agreement, remove my shoes indoors often before I realize I've done it, and mumble "itadakimasu" every time I eat. 

The most difficult part of readjusting so far is conversation.  The translation filter I'm accustomed to using is unnecessary, but the time delay persists.  I don't need to tediously plan all my sentences in my head now, but I still do.  I also have to be more careful now of uttering sarcasm or extraordinary whimsy, because I can no longer depend on the language barrier to dilute them when they go wrong, through the magic of benefit of doubt.

Conversation topics are difficult.  I've never seen Queer Eye, or American Idol, or Simple Life. I've never heard Avril Lavigne or Destiny's Child.  I didn't know there was a first installment to most of the sequels that are out. I can't distinguish Jessica Simpson from Lindsay Lohan, and I know nothing of SpongeBob SquarePants beyond the very obvious.   When I left the U.S., the ruins of the World Trade Center were still smoking, we hadn't yet bombed Iraq, and there was no Patriot Act.  I'm too clueless about American pop culture yet to have formed any opinions on it, and recent politics is something I've read about from afar, but not yet felt.

The only conversational contributions I can make now all begin, "In Japan,...".  Everything I say comes off sounding like a mini-lecture by a pretentious bighead, but it's often all I have to offer, because for the last three years, it's all I've known.  Unless my anecdote begins with "Four years ago," or "This morning while I was brushing my teeth," there is little else I can say, and otherwise I just have to wait to speak until after I rack up a few local experiences.

Happy New Year.

Comments

[Melissa]

Thanks for your thoughts. I just found your site while researching "culture shock" Although I have live abroad before, this past time has been the most difficult. I just returned from Nicaragua and am going through more culture shock then ever.

[panasianbiz]

I stumbled across your blog while I was doing some online research. As someone who had the privilege of living in Japan for a number of years prior to returning to the United States, I have firsthand knowledge of the culture shock that results from trying to adjust to an entirely new country. However, once the initial difficulties are overcome, the rewards of this exposure are invaluable.

[Jada Rufo]

I've also had similar experiences with reverse culture shock. I use to live in China for ten years. Although I've been back for nearly a year now I still have trouble adjusting to life in America. I can only imagine what Rip Van Winkle must have been thinking after 20 years of sleep.

[J.]

Good luck with the "reverse culture shock".

[Toni]

I can totally relate to your feelings. I only spent a year and a half in Japan, but when I returned to California, it felt like I was gone for much longer. I too, was far behind on pop culture. I missed a few seasons of my favorite shows such as South Park, Friends, and the Simpsons. I was familiar with some music since my eikaiwa piped in American pop music in the office every day.

When I returned, I was shocked to see how large the freeways were. I was used to the tiny, cramped streets in Saitama. And I thought that my parents' modestly sized house was a downright mansion, compared to the tiny apaato I had. Truly culture shock.

[Lee]

Happy New Year!

Your post perfectly describes how I feel when I go back home for a holiday.

Thanks and good luck!

[Ken]

Great post, I know what you mean. I went back to the L.A. from Tokyo for the holidays, and that short stay alone caused major reverse culture shock (starting with stress of trying to remember to walk on the right side rather than left! ((and then noticing that nobody walks in L.A. to start with))), which I wrote about in my own blog. Hope you adjust back to American norms soon, it will give me hope.

[j.w]

karla-san
arigato gozaimashita.
are-wa jeff desu. dozo yoroshiku.
it means a lot to me knowing you drop by.
and thanks, i will.

[Victoria]

I'm so glad you are safely "back in the arms of Texas"!

Now you take time to rest and heal and, please, do give us your insights as you are observing the current life here. So very much has changed in the states in the four years you have been away.

Look forward to seeing you,

Victoria

[chasmyn]

Happy New Year. I'm glad you made it back safely. I cannot begin to know about that kind of culture shock, since my moving was in the same country and it really isn't all that different for me, just more trees and people are kinder to each other. But the same otherwise. I know you will acclimate. And in the meantime we get to read about all of your adventures in doing so.

[Gene]

It took me some time re-ajusting when I came back from Iraq. I was constantly reaching for my sidearm to make sure the safety is on or speeding up when coming up on overpasses to avoid ambushes. Going to the bathroom? Don't for get your pistol, toilet paper, flashlight and be prepared to walk a half mile. Proud to have been there, but more than happy to be home.

[Logan]

Welcome back, Darlin'

[Kevin Dougans]

This entry is... just plain outstanding. I can relate it all so well. I know it doesn't sound like a big change but I am from Scotland and I'm living in Germany at the moment, but the way of life is so different. Traditions, food, celebrations, parties, nights out on the booze, everything is so different. Plus it doesn't help the fact that I can't speak moe than 2 sentances of german! I live the exact feeling you described about thinking about sentances daily. During the day I'm with the Germans, trying to speak German but at night I go to the irish pub where they speak english and I even sound like a foreigner in there... as if I don't speak much english or german. It's so weird to describe but I know exactly what your coming from. I was lucky enough to have my gean visit me just before christmas then I went to Scotland for christmas, so I was semi-prepared for the scottish way of things again, but I doubt I'll be so lucky next time I return home... when every sentace I say will start "In germany...".

Happy New Year!!

[erin]

konichiwa
( sorry i forgot how to spell it )
welcome, and good luck on your journey of discovery!

[Jeff]

I know exactly how you feel, having just returned from a yearlong stint in Japan four months ago. Ironically, I just discovered this blog a few days ago through some Asia Weblogs award site. I started at the chronological beginning and read through, and your descriptions of certain things, like onsen and the feeling of finding your way around a food market, were very... ひさしぶりの感じ.

You'll probably find yourself still slipping up and calling it a keitai several months later. And I still don't know what the big deal is about SpongeBob. And my friends still think I begin far too many sentences with "In Japan..." but they're starting to get used to it.

[Sarah]

Good luck to you. I am a Japan returnee myself, and you articulate things so well...I had exactly the same problems going on. I've only recently un-alienated most of my friends!